In the year 1995, a journalist [ and psychologist] Daniel Goleman introduced a concept of emotional intelligence to the world. According to Harvard Business Review, it was a revolutionary, paradigm-shattering idea. His article published in Harvard Business Review is a must-read for all of us.
I have already presented the emotional intelligence in a previous article. No wonder, people at least understand very firmly that the EQ (Emotional Intelligence ) is essential as compared to IQ (Intelligent Quotient). And there are various reasons behind it.
In reality, in the day-to-day world, how to know if you are or your friend an emotionally intelligent person? Apart from theoretically knowing what emotional intelligence is, knowing how people with good EQ may be more important and more practical.
If you will google now, there are thousands of articles to identify if you are emotionally intelligent or not.
Here, I have cherry-picked some of the most essential traits of emotionally intelligent people.
Let us start!
# [1] You forgive people
You may feel, what is it? It is not a big deal at all! But it is not true! It is not easy to forgive people!
No, it is not correct to forget every mistake your partner or friend or an employee or even an employer does! After all, we are human beings!
But the life-long grudges may push you as well as others to an awkward zone of discomfort! The atmosphere becomes irritating! You will not be able to work (if its workspace or live in your home, if it is your spouse !)
Remember, hard things are always fruitful! Emotional intelligence is the art of forgiveness! In fact, emotionally intelligent people do not always judge the person based on the mistake he/she has done in the past!
# [2] You don’t hesitate to apologize
Some times we commit a mistake. And it is okay because we are humans. But, often we do not apologize for it.
We start defending that mistake. Deep inside, we know that it is our mistake, but still, we do it! It takes courage and energy to say sorry!
An emotionally intelligent person always admits his / her mistake. Because apologizing for a mistake will keep your relations intact!
Emotional intelligent people always keep their relations ahead of their egos!
# [3] You understand that perfection is not always necessary
No wonder, perfect things look nice! Perfection is what everyone demands! But do you really think that it is always the necessity?
Let’s say you want to write a poem for your girlfriend/boyfriend. And instead of pouring your emotions in the stanzas, you start using heavy words from Oxford’s dictionary. Is it worth it? NO!
An emotionally intelligent person understands the very fact that no one can be Mr. /Ms. Perfect. In fact, in the process of perfection, we tend to make a lot of mistakes!
Emotional intelligence is getting forward and enjoy the achievements, which may be little!
# [4] You stay in the present
Many of us regret the mistakes we have done in the past! And often we become vulnerable taking our future! Is it bad? Not at all!
The point is, how much time you think about these two things?
How many times you have really observed the way you chew your food? Or the drops of the shower on you? We often tend to think [dwell] either in the past or future!
An emotionally intelligent person always stays in the present! He/she enjoys the current moment. Because they believe in learning from the experiences! They know that the past is over, and the only way to make future nice is to be in present and live in it!
# [5] You can say ‘NO’
It is not about saying ‘NO’ always.
An emotionally intelligent person always thinks before deciding anything. They do not get provoked nor they come under peer-pressure.
Emotionally intelligent people do not feel afraid of saying ‘NO’ to their friends, their bosses. They know their capabilities. It is never about negative / positive impressions.
It’s all about knowing your boundaries, limitations, and then acknowledging them.
# [6] You never let emotions guide you
Often, we do crazy things when we are drowning in emotions! Emotionally intelligent people do not let their emotions guide them.
Emotional intelligence is knowing right now, what your mood is! If you can acknowledge it, there are more chances that you will not let them guide you!
An emotionally intelligent person not only can understand his own feelings but also others’ feelings like reading a book.
# [7] You take criticism positively
The emotionally intelligent person always keeps in mind that, improvement is necessary than anything else!
People often criticize out of anger or even to bully. Of course, it is not good. However, emotional intelligence lies in learning from these criticisms.
# [8] You know who you are
Emotional people clearly know their strengths and weaknesses. They happily accept themselves.
They do not regret their weaknesses, but they work on them. And they use their strengths to move forward.
This gives them a sense of clarity, which helps them for commitments.
# [9] You try to help others
Emotionally intelligent people try to be helpful for society as much as possible. It is because they know their strengths.
You can see them consoling a sad person; explaining an awkward subject to their colleague.
After all, being emotionally intelligent is not just about knowing YOU, but knowing people and being sensible about them.
# [10] You appreciate others
An emotionally intelligent person never hesitate to appreciate their fellow people.
Often, people do not appreciate or praise their competitors, their colleagues, children, or even parents.
The emotionally intelligent people are empathetic. They understand that all of us like appreciation! It acts as a moral-booster!
This way, the relationship becomes stronger based on the trust you show!
The list is not exhaustive. There are a lot of traits you can find in the books, in various articles, etc.
Do you have these traits in you? Do you have good emotional intelligence? If yes, then congratulations 🙂
If no, then do not worry! As I said, no one is perfect. But you can work on it to make yourself. emotionally intelligent person 🙂